When the day bleeds into nightfall...

You know when I was a kid, my greatest fear was being alone in the dark and thus other than seeing the night as a time where I rest my little body and serve my cutest eyes the delicious meal of sweet sleep,...

I detested the every other thing about the night!

It made me feel insecure

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

, frightened and alone but as I grew up my greatest fear became the love of my life...

A beloved companion it became.

You can imagine, when people look up to dawn, I look up to dusk.

When people find beauty in the daylight; I find mine in the sunset for it announces the call of the night's reign.

I succumbed to the will of this dark period where my blanket becomes my best buddy but you'll never find me on my bed.

I'll be somewhere around the corners searching for my ghost friend, you know atimes we play that popular game, rock, paper, scissors yeah...

I hugged the space, I hugged the emptiness, I hugged my lonely figure, my shadow on the wall as the light from the outside world illuminates a part of my room, the place you'll never find me for I now detest the light

I basked in my loneliness and found Solace in seclusion or should I say isolation.

I became a mad lover of the dark that black became my favorite color

I lost the will to live in the light of the norms for everyone lives there.

I love seclusion so why should I join them, why should I be included in their bright blinding schemes?

No! I'd rather join the shadows and become the first human to live in a wall. I'll jump with shadows when the ceiling is our sky

If blades were guitars I would sharpen them with the kisses of my tiny fingers...

You wonder why I mentioned blades.

Well, I once felt pity for the blade you know.

Its skinny buddy I think must be too sad that all it can feel is anger and the silent whispers of cut, shred and tears that it slowly reflects its emotions on everything it touches.

The bruises, the scars, bleeding and sheddings how it lost its weight in years ago , years that probably never existed but then those years could be in the manufacturing industries where it came from.

I used to wonder if it's loneliness could surpass mine so one day when I felt extremely overwhelmed, sad, and angry; I took to the will of my friend's emotions

I knew that it could relate to my feelings easily so I placed it on my wrist so that it could feel my pulse and tell if my heart isn't beating too fast

I need your therapy please I had said that day.

Tell me how you cope and how you manage to stay still despite your burning rage & anger.

How you only destroy whenever you're picked up or provoked, why you are painted black and not the world's favorite bright colors

Why not red at least I remember asking again and then I heard a silent-calm swash sound —

My wrist!

So this is how blades changes color when they're provoked...

It really turned to a dark red in an instant.

I remember it was deep into the night but the color of my blood shimmered on it like the stars to the sky

What do I love the most about the night exactly

Could it be its pretty covers where I can deposit my mind and succumb my emotions to its comfy blankets?

Or the color that helps hide my visage from Mama's suspicious eyes as she tries to pry into my soul where emptiness can only be detected...?

Or perhaps my shadow hunters the one and only friends I can remember lasted years with me, by my side every night like the breeze is to the trees

Or the fact that I can remain as tiny yet significant and feel so peaceful like the birds in the night

How my deserted being sleeps like a baby while her worry flees from her merry figure that'll soon shatter into pieces in the wake of dawn

My soul I realized is an asylum of grief, of barricade between the existing and the dying for I become a walking dead every day light sheds on the heart and rekindles to living ember within the ashes of my despair as the day bleeds into nightfall

I only understand the language of the deserts for the dust is what I'm made of

Something that can just die and wither away faster than the leaves

Something that can easily turn frost like a sun burnt leaf

Something like a powder or air that can be easily blown into the seas

I'm a human that left with hues

I'm a painting of grief in daylight and a man with no hue when it's dark for I blend into the darkness better than the camouflage

I'm a colourful colourless soul

I'm a girl with the loudest voice who only speaks a language called silence

I can shout so loud but whispers are louder than me

I'm a painting that embraces all hues but in daylight I'm a meaningless colourful colourless soul

I'm a present absent hue

I only stain I don't beautify

How much years it took me to prove this wrong

I'm a beauty, a masterpiece not a dark witch or a gnome who's meant to cry into arms of the lonely nights

I'm meant to show the stars that I could shimmer brighter than it can rather than feeling too small to look into its eyes

And if anyone calls me an eyesore, if they refer to me as a broken beyond repair, if they abuse my scars and try to pull me into my renowned despair I should stand up with all might and glory and tell to them that I'm like the moon in the sky

I'm of various shapes for diversity is the language I was bred and nurtured with

I'm might not be bigger but I'm the most obvious in the skies

Not even the stars can outshine me for I glow like no other

I glamour and these stars are like guardians savoring my glow and worshipping my feet

I'm a parable that even in the darkest hours the light can be found for in me lives both the light and also the dark, I illuminate the world

I'm black, I'm great, I'm amazing, I'm rare, I'm not inferior I'm supe

rior to my enemies

I'm amazing, I'm valuable to the infinity, I'm the best version of me!!!!!

Black is beautiful